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Mt. Holz Science Fiction Society
Club Notice - 10/02/92 -- Vol. 11, No. 14
MEETINGS UPCOMING:
Unless otherwise stated, all meetings are on Wednesdays at noon.
_D_A_T_E _T_O_P_I_C
10/07 HO: FORGE OF GOD and ANVIL OF STARS by Greg Bear
(The Fermi Paradox) (HO 4N-509)
10/28 HO: Book Swap (HO 4N-509)
11/18 HO: DOOMSDAY BOOK by Connie Willis (Plagues) (HO 4N-509)
12/09 HO: A FIRE ON THE DEEP by Vernor Vinge (HO 4N-509)
_D_A_T_E _E_X_T_E_R_N_A_L _M_E_E_T_I_N_G_S/_C_O_N_V_E_N_T_I_O_N_S/_E_T_C.
09/19 NJSFS: New Jersey Science Fiction Society: TBA
(phone 201-432-5965 for details) (Saturday)
10/10 SFABC: Science Fiction Association of Bergen County: TBA
(phone 201-933-2724 for details) (Saturday)
HO Chair: John Jetzt HO 1E-525 908-834-1563 hocpb!jetzt
LZ Chair: Rob Mitchell HO 1D-505A 908-834-1267 hocpb!jrrt
MT Chair: Mark Leeper MT 3D-441 908-957-5619 mtgzy!leeper
HO Librarian: Nick Sauer HO 4F-427 908-949-7076 homxc!11366ns
LZ Librarian: Lance Larsen LZ 3L-312 908-576-3346 mtfme!lfl
MT Librarian: Mark Leeper MT 3D-441 908-957-5619 mtgzy!leeper
Factotum: Evelyn Leeper MT 1F-329 908-957-2070 mtgzy!ecl
All material copyright by author unless otherwise noted.
1. Sorry, but you are an instant weiner, and don't play again.
2. Of the next Holmdel book discussion, Dale Skran says:
Greg Bear has written a worthy sequel to _F_o_r_g_e _o_f _G_o_d with vast
scope and vision. For those who like old-fashioned "sense of
wonder" SF combined with interesting characters and a pulse-
pounding story, Bear delivers again. _A_n_v_i_l _o_f _S_t_a_r_s is space-war
at its most refined, fought with awesome weapons in a devilish game
of hide-and-seek by characters struggling with the decisions that
may destroy an entire race. In the past month, I've read several
really excellent SF novels (_F_i_r_e _o_n _t_h_e _D_e_e_p [Vinge], _A_n_v_i_l _o_f
_S_t_a_r_s, _A_r_i_s_t_o_i [Williams], and _S_t_e_e_l _B_e_a_c_h [Varley]), any of which
is better than any of last year's Hugo nominees. _A_n_v_i_l _o_f _S_t_a_r_s is
THE MT VOID Page 2
not the best, but it is a worthy contender. [-dls]
3. I do a lot of traveling so you'd think I would be used to flying
by now. No way! I know as a kid I loved flying. Like most kids I
collected pictures of planes; I fooled around with paper airplanes
and balsawood planes; I built models of planes. We were born into
a world of three-dimensions; biology gave us a means to get around
pretty well in two of them and frustratingly gave us almost nothing
to make use of the third. So being a contrary kid, I was
fascinated in moving in all three dimensions. I suppose if I was
told I could go in any direction but north I might have collected
pictures of igloos.
But I have to say that now that flying is an industry, the airlines
have done a great job of making it about as pleasant as going to
the dentist. I can tell you I didn't collect pictures of molars
and dental picks.
The first thing wrong with flying is the fare structure. The
reason it is so screwed up is that the fares are not even
determined by full-time professionals. Most of the people setting
up the fares are only moonlighting from their real careers, which
is dealing Three-Card Monte on the streets of Manhattan. Wherever
you fly you have paid too much. You could have flown cheaper if
you had gone by way of someplace like Grand Banks, Alaska. But
take my word for it, you do _n_o_t want to make a connecting flight.
A connecting flight is always a race to see if the next flight will
be delayed enough. As a rule of thumb, "connecting flights don't."
However, if you want to find connecting flights, you can thumb
through the handy-dandy airline guide you probably have at your
local library. It's a great way to learn all the official
abbreviations describing your flight. Incidentally, if you read
one of these things "CLW" is preferable to "CLL." Crash landing on
water is safer.
I am sitting here writing this on an hour-long flight that is
already more than an hour long, so I strongly suspect I will have
more to say on this subject in an upcoming issue.
4. My MagiCon convention report starts in this issue and continues
for the next three issues as well. [-ecl]
Mark Leeper
MT 3D-441 908-957-5619
...mtgzy!leeper
The direct use of physical force is so poor a solution to
the problem of limited resources that it is commonly
employed only by small children and great nations.
-- David Friedman
THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS
A film review by Mark R. Leeper
Copyright 1992 Mark R. Leeper
Capsule review: Michael Mann's _L_a_s_t _o_f _t_h_e
_M_o_h_i_c_a_n_s is finally available and while James
Fenimore Cooper might cavil, this is still a film
that teaches a lot about a little-dramatized chapter
of history. In some ways it is more intriguing in
concept than the source novel. Technical credits are
good across the board including remarkable stylistic
restraint coming from Mann. Rating: high +2 (-4 to
+4).
I would say that I am fairly interested in history in general
and in military history in particular. But not so much the War of
the Roses. That war just does not strike my imagination. Why not?
I think I cannot picture the time. I cannot picture how the war was
fought or how people lived. Mostly, I cannot remember off-hand
seeing a good historical film set in the War of the Roses. So it is
all just history. This morning the same was true of the French and
Indian War. I have even recently read James Fenimore Cooper's _L_a_s_t
_o_f _t_h_e _M_o_h_i_c_a_n_s, but I just could not picture exactly what the
weapons looked like or the style of fighting. But right now I have
strong visual images of the French and Indian War. I can picture
the cannons and how they were aimed. I am amazed at how remarkably
quiet skirmishes in the forests were. Most of my impressions of the
French and Indian War I got today. So _T_h_e _L_a_s_t _o_f _t_h_e _M_o_h_i_c_a_n_s
could be a terrible adaptation of the Cooper novel--and in some
senses it really is--and I would still highly recommend the film.
And I do.
Cooper's novel makes strange reading today. It has the action
and adventure of a Republic serial told in the style of prose fit
for an Oxford economic treatise. You want to read fast to find out
what happens next, but if you do not struggle you will miss what
does happen. Mark Twain wrote a famous essay on how unreadable
Cooper is. And there is many times too much plot in the novel to
tell the story accurately in a film. Michael Mann (who also
directed) and Christopher Crowe wrote a screenplay too close to say
it was only inspired by the novel, but not close enough to call an
adaptation.
The year is 1757 in what is now upper New York state. The
British and the French are fighting for the continent and each is
making alliances with local Indians tribes. The British send a
small party, led by Major Duncan Heyward (played by Steven
Waddington) to take Cora and Alice Munro (played by Madeleine Stowe
and Jodhi May) to the fort commanded by their father. As a guide,
Last of the Mohicans September 26, 1992 Page 2
they send the Mohawk Magua (played by Wes Studi). But Magua is not
a Mohawk; he is a hostile Huron who is acting as a French agent. He
leads the party into an ambush only to have his plot dashed when the
Major, Cora, and Alice are rescued by Hawkeye, Chingachgook, and
Uncas (played by Daniel Day-Lewis, Russell Means, and Eric Schweig,
respectively). In spite of himself, Hawkeye is attracted to Cora.
So is the Major and so starts a conflict totally absent from the
novel. A lot of the rest of this film is about people rushing
someplace or other through dangerous territory, but under the
protection of the valiant Hawkeye and his adoptive father and
brother, Chingachgook and Uncas. The action is good; the love
triangle is not.
One of my complaints about the often-shown trailer is that we
do not see the title character. In fact, in the film the action
pulls away from Chingachgook and we do not see much of the
character. It is a combination of a casting coup and an endorsement
of the script to have Russell Means in the role. This is Means's
first film, but it is far from the first time that Means has been
before the American public. Means has been a creative activist for
Indian rights who has had a consistent policy of attacking symbols
rather than people in demonstrations. In 1970 he captured the
Mayflower II on Thanksgiving. The following year he occupied Mount
Rushmore. In 1973 he occupied the site of the Wounded Knee massacre
of Indians by United States soldiers. He is the co-founder of the
American Indian Movement (AIM). Means castigated recent films such
as _D_a_n_c_e_s _w_i_t_h _W_o_l_v_e_s, which he found full of cliches and which had
all the Indians speaking the feminine language that only women
spoke. He has nicknamed _T_h_u_n_d_e_r_h_e_a_r_t "South Dakota Burning" for
making good guys out of the FBI. To have Means consent to appear in
the film and to endorse the script is quite impressive.
When I think of films that Michael Mann has directed I think of
flashy but not very intelligent style. I think of _T_h_e _K_e_e_p and
_M_a_n_h_u_n_t_e_r. (I have never seen an episode of his popular television
series _M_i_a_m_i _V_i_c_e.) Perhaps his fans will be disappointed but there
are no strange camera angles and no unnatural use of color. Many of
his scenes come off surprisingly undramatic but also very credible.
In one scene there is an ambush of a party of British trooping
through a clearing. It could have been played for great dramatic
impact. Instead it appears as a sudden commotion that could well
have just been confusing for some of the victims, at least at first.
The scene is very believable and realistic, if less dramatic than it
could be. And that shows a real improvement in Mann's style. This
film is amazingly better than anything else I remember seeing from
Mann. While these are not the most beautiful landscapes in the
world, cinematographer Dante Spinotti plays the natural beauty for
as much as is possible. Trevor Jones and Randy Edelman have
composed a remarkably good score.
Last of the Mohicans September 26, 1992 Page 3
For those familiar with the novel, there are a large number of
variations, some very obviously improvements. Cooper had Hawkeye
totally loyal to unquestionably good British. In this version, the
British appear as bad or worse than the French. They are ready to
betray the colonists for their own ends. Hawkeye, very reasonably,
does not trust the British in the film and will have more reason not
to like them in the course of the story. Heyward and Hawkeye are
good friends in the book. But the film has Heyward attracted to
Cora instead of to Alice and Hawkeye also loves Cora. In the book
you have to read between the lines to see a relationship between
Hawkeye and Cora. Certainly Cooper never had the close personal
conversations between Hawkeye and Cora. They never talk in the book
about how they feel about anything, much less about each other.
Also, Magua is very much a one-dimensional character to Cooper and
is much more interesting in the film.
So in spite of the fact that Michael Mann's film does not work
well as an adaptation of the novel, it is a very good film to watch
and from which to learn a little history. It lacks some of the
dramatic and historic sweep of this summer's _F_a_r _a_n_d _A_w_a_y, but it
may be the better historical film. I would rate _T_h_e _L_a_s_t _o_f _t_h_e
_M_o_h_i_c_a_n_s a high +2 on the -4 to +4 scale.
THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT ALMOST BLANK
MagiCon 1992
(Part 1 of 4)
Con report by Evelyn C. Leeper
Copyright 1992 Evelyn C. Leeper
[What you hold in your hands--or on your screen--is an example
of manic con report writing. I foolishly took a vacation for a few
days after the con, and will be leaving on another in three and a
half weeks, so I will do my best to get this done in between.
Please pardon any mistakes that slip through.]
MagiCon, the 1992 World Science Fiction Convention, and the
50th World Science Fiction Convention, was held September 3 through
September 7 in Orlando, Florida. The attendance was quoted as 5903,
as of 2 PM Sunday. There were a fair number of Europeans (Orlando
is more accessible than Chicago was last year), including the now
usual contingent of CIS fans selling Soviet memorabilia to help
finance their trip. I think their prices have gone up though. :-)
We arrived in Orlando Thursday afternoon after a somewhat
hectic flight (we left Newark Airport seventy-five minutes late and
made our Raleigh connection only because American Airlines held the
connecting flights, bless them. So I've now been in North Carolina
for about five minutes). We checked into the Peabody only to
discover that Dave and Kate were unable to check in because their
names were not listed for the room. I blame the Orange County
Convention Bureau--I had listed all the names, and I suspect they're
the ones who dropped the names. But we got this straightened out,
and they had a car to leave their luggage in until we arrived.
Facilities
The convention facilities were very good. The convention
center had patio seating in the center, with a concession stand for
those who wanted food or drink. The exhibit hall, message board,
etc. were right next to this, and the dealers room and art show were
at the back of this hall. The meeting rooms were also close by.
The only inconvenient items were those scheduled in the Clarion,
which was about a block away. The distance was not great, but there
was no good path between the two, and the rooms in the Clarion were
not well marked (and there was no map of the Clarion in the Pocket
Program). The Con Suite was in the Peabody and reportedly not much
used.
The restaurant situation, on the other hand, left a lot to be
desired. Without a car, there were only about eight choices, most
fast-food-type places. There was a Denny's for breakfast, and the
hotel coffee shop in the Peabody was not really too over-priced. If
you had a car, there were several more possibilities.
MagiCon September 7, 1992 Page 2
As with last year, I would complain that a ballroom was used
for the masquerade and the Hugo ceremony rather than a theater-type
room (which provides much better visibility). There was no closed-
circuit broadcast, and the line for the masquerade was quite long.
(I didn't see the Hugo line, and we eventually left the masquerade
line and used our press ribbons to get forward seating. Writing
these con reports is good for something, after all. :-) )
Registration and All That Stuff
Registration was fast, although I had to go to three different
places (four if you count getting press ribbons): the main
registration, program participants' registration right next to it,
and the Green Room for Hugo nominees' registration. (Note that I'm
not complaining about the latter, so don't feel obliged to stop
nominating me to save me from all that.)
There were reportedly nineteen different ribbons for the
various types of "special" people (including one that said "This
Completes The Set"!), all in different colors (unlike last year,
when staff and program participants both had red ribbons, for
example). The Hugo nominee rocket pins were back to the high
quality of two years ago; last year's were bigger but not as well-
executed. Badges were available with either clips or pins. As is
universal, the newsletters were late, but not as late as last year's
(though if anyone has number 8 or the hoax newsletter, I would love
a copy--we had to leave before those arrived). There were several
convenient drop-off points.
There were lots of flyers on the freebie tables, and free
issues of _A_n_a_l_o_g and _A_s_i_m_o_v'_s were being handed out. The usual
movie buttons were also there, with enough _S_n_e_a_k_e_r_s buttons for
everyone to get two or three (it seemed), but not as many _D_r_a_c_u_l_a
buttons as there were takers. _C_a_n_d_y_m_a_n buttons were mirrored, but
thankfully these were plastic rather than glass, or there could have
been problems with broken buttons and sharp edges. MagiCon handled
the button handouts themselves, putting out portions of them in
lavender buckets every free hours. This was good for two reasons:
it helped eliminate the mess when people just dump the buttons on
the tables, and it gave everyone a chance to get some (because they
weren't all gone after the first day or so).
Program Books
The Pocket Program once again had an index by participant.
However, since I had pulled a copy off the Net before the convention
(and in fact had printed up a customized program for me of what I
wanted to see, and gave a copy to Mark so he could find me), I
didn't really use the Pocket Program, or even carry it around. For
the third year in a row, the descriptions of the various panels were
not in the Pocket Program, though the trend to descriptive rather
MagiCon September 7, 1992 Page 3
than cutesy titles continues--for which I am thankful. There was
also a time grid for the program items and the schedule closely
resembled the Pocket Program's schedule, with only minor panelist
changes after it went to press.
As I noted before, the maps could have been more complete.
The Souvenir Book was truly great! In addition to all the
usual stuff (Hugo nominee list, WSFS Constitution, etc.), there were
biographies of all the guests of honor, eight articles, six short
stories, and a novelette. In his editorial Jon Gustafson talked
about how he rarely found anything in the Souvenir Book (a.k.a. the
Program book, though the program is never printed in there any more)
worth reading or keeping and wanted to do something different.
Well, he did. Chicon V came close, in having an anthology _F_a_n_t_a_s_t_i_c
_C_h_i_c_a_g_o published in conjunction with the Souvenir Book, but it cost
extra and this did not. I just hope people actually looked at the
thing instead of having given up long ago. (I must admit I didn't
open it till I got home.) Again, an excellent job, and a tradition
to keep up for future Souvenir Books!
Green Room
The Green Room was well laid out, with coffee available most of
the day and sodas in the afternoon after the coffee ran out. It was
well-staffed, with schedules posted, and on the whole better
organized than last year's. There was some confusion about whether
name cards would be in the Green Room or Program Ops (next door),
but this was truly minor. My major complaint would be with the
participants, who showed a distressing tendency _n_o_t to show up
before the panels in the Green Room as requested, making any pre-
planning of introductions, topics, etc., impossible.
The Green Room also gave me an opportunity to get travel advice
on the Southwest from Fred Lerner, and to have Jerry Pournelle look
at me two or three times, finally peer at my badge, and say, "You're
not Connie Willis. I thought you were, and that you were cutting me
for some reason." I suppose I look a little bit like her; we have
the same style glasses and similar haircuts. (I told Willis this
story; she found it amusing, and signed the book I was having her
autograph as "Your clone, Connie Willis.")
Dealers Room
As last year, the Dealers Room (a.k.a., the Hucksters Room) was
very large, with a lot of books, but also a lot of non-books. I
actually found a couple of books I had almost given up hope on.
There may have been an index--I didn't notice. The need for
wheelchair accessibility seems to indicate that the cramped aisles
of Worldcons gone by are indeed a thing of the past.
MagiCon September 7, 1992 Page 4
Art Show
The amount of humorous amateur art seemed to be lower this
year, and there was some very high-quality stuff in the regular show
and in the Vincent DiFate 50-year speculative art retrospective,
which consisted of the works of dozens of artists from DiFate's
collection. The spaciousness of the Dealers Room was also evident
here. I have no idea how the economics worked out, since everything
I like has long since moved out of my price range. I did buy three
Tom Kidd prints in the dealers room though. (A friend did say that
the purchase procedure was the most efficient she had seen.)
Programming
The Pocket Program lists 420 program items, while Chicon V had
520 program items, ConFiction 337, and Noreascon 3 833 (all not
counting films or autograph sessions). There were also 73 videos,
36 films, 37 autograph sessions, and 42 readings. Since the
electronic schedule did not break the panels down by type, I will
not given a percentage breakdown as I did last year. In spite of
the lower total number of items, there were more panels and other
events at this convention of interest to me than at the previous
conventions. In fact, I went with almost all my time scheduled
between 10 AM and 6 PM every day except for six hours over the whole
weekend! Congratulations to Priscilla Olson and staff for a job
well done!
Given that it's impossible to see everything at a Worldcon, I
will cover just the programming I attended. I would note, however,
that one friend of mine highly commended the science track (in
particular, the NASA track, and another thought the art track was
excellent).
Panel: WWWWeeeellllllll RRRReeeeaaaadddd FFFFaaaannnn:::: BBBBooooooookkkkssss
Thursday, 3 PM
Gregory Bennett, Janice M. Eisen (moderator), Tim Illingworth
This started with some people thinking that the idea was to
name books that would help the reader understand fans, so _F_a_l_l_e_n
_A_n_g_e_l_s by Larry Niven, Jerry Pournelle, and Michael Flynn was
mentioned. (Why no one listed Sharyn McCrumb's _B_i_m_b_o_s _o_f _t_h_e _D_e_a_t_h
_S_u_n and _Z_o_m_b_i_e_s _o_f _t_h_e _G_e_n_e _P_o_o_l I don't know.) But it rapidly got
into a listing of what a fan should read to be considered well-read
and knowledgeable in the field.
This consisted of just about every author you can name.
Seriously, a panel that gives people _h_u_n_d_r_e_d_s of books to read
is too intimidating. There were some useful comments. The
panelists recommended _L_o_c_u_s for current events and admitted that the
field was getting too broad for anyone to cover completely. Eisen
MagiCon September 7, 1992 Page 5
said that the well-read fan should never admit to having read
anything media-related, with the possible exception of John
M. Ford's _H_o_w _M_u_c_h _f_o_r _J_u_s_t _t_h_e _P_l_a_n_e_t?
In anthologies, panelists recommended the Dozois "Year's Best"
anthologies for staying current, and the _O_r_b_i_t, _U_n_i_v_e_r_s_e, and
_D_a_n_g_e_r_o_u_s _V_i_s_i_o_n_s anthologies for what the field was like in the
1960s and 1970s (though they agreed that _D_a_n_g_e_r_o_u_s _V_i_s_i_o_n_s was not
so dangerous any more). Also suggested were the _S_c_i_e_n_c_e _F_i_c_t_i_o_n
_H_a_l_l _o_f _F_a_m_e anthologies, and the various anthologies of Hugo and
Nebula award winners. For that matter, reading the list of Hugo-
and Nebula-award-winning novels and short fiction would not be a bad
basis to start your project on.
It was pointed out that many of the older works are coming back
into print in a variety of "rediscovery" series. I suggested the
Terry Carr Ace Science Fiction Special series (the first one), and
the Groff Conklin and Judith Merril anthologies, as other resources.
Someone in the audience asked for recommendations on current
"hard s-f space opera"; the panelists suggested C. J. Cherryh,
Charles Sheffield, and Lois McMaster Bujold. Someone else noted
that it was interesting that two of the three leaders in this field
were women.
Ironically, H. G. Wells and Jules Verne were not mentioned
until the very end, and even then the panelists seemed to think that
today's readers would find them unreadable. (Then again, this was
the same convention that had a panel on Edgar Rice Burroughs as a
"neglected author," so maybe the readership is going downhill.)
Panel: BBBBooooooookkkkssssttttoooorrrreeee aaaassss SSSSuuuuppppeeeerrrrmmmmaaaarrrrkkkkeeeetttt--------GGGGrrrroooowwwwtttthhhh ooooffff MMMMeeeeggggaaaa----BBBBooooooookkkkssssttttoooorrrreeeessss
Thursday, 5 PM
Glen Cook, Scott Edelman (moderator), Michelle M. Sagara, Brian Thomsen
First, the definitions: a mega-bookstore (a.k.a. "superstore")
is one that has more than 10,000 square feet of floor space. As a
comparison, the specialty book store Sagara owned had about 1200
square feet. And the history: at some point, the chains realized
that they had to expand their selection or lose business. First
they expanded into non-books (videotapes, computer software, etc.),
but recently they have discovered that people come into book stores
to buy books (what a concept!) and have sharply cut back on the
other items. (It should be noted that some stores, such as Barnes &
Noble, have always realized they needed a broad selection. The
Barnes & Noble store in downtown Manhattan would have qualified as a
mega-bookstore before the term was even invented.) Some companies
tried different focuses for different subsidiaries (e.g., Coles and
the Book Store in Canada are owned by the same company, but aimed at
different markets). Thomsen thought that while this was true, even
a superstore can't offer everything--they are constrained by what is
MagiCon September 7, 1992 Page 6
in print, available from distributors, etc.
The issue is also compounded by the customer base. A specialty
store (such as the Science Fiction Shop in New York) needs a certain
population density to survive. A mega-bookstore, by appealing to
readers in all categories, can be successful in less densely
populated areas. I could see a mega-bookstore surviving in Rapid
City ND where a specialty science fiction shop might have problems.
Unfortunately, the panel rapidly drifted off-topic onto general
issues in the publishing and book-selling industry. The returns
policy, beaten to death for years now, was given a few more whacks.
Scott compared the practice of having stores return just the covers
of unsold books for credit ("stripping") to the auto manufacturers
telling the dealers, "If you don't sell that car, send us the
ashtray and a note saying you destroyed the rest." Thomsen said
that one reason he felt that TSR has a sell-through rate of 80%
(compared with an industry average of 50%) is that it doesn't allow
stripping--dealers must return the entire book. This gives them an
extra incentive to gauge better how many to order, or to keep the
books on the shelf longer before returning them. The "downward
spiral" phenomenon that comes out of this was also cited: if a chain
orders 60,000 of author A's first book and sells 40,000, then they
will probably order only 40,000 of A's second book and maybe sell
30,000 of those, and so on.
The discount policy also came under fire. While Random House
offers better discounts to customers with lower return rates, many
companies offer better discounts to chains than to independent
booksellers.
Piers Anthony came under fire (through some long train of
discussion I can't reproduce). Someone claimed that Anthony's
problem was that he was writing what sells this month (i.e., writing
to follow trends). Sagara said that Anthony was not writing what
sells this month, to which Cook added, "His [Anthony's] problem is
he's writing too much of what he sold last month."
There was some further discussion of remaindered books, but
nothing I noted down, and clearly the panel had drifted well off
topic. As to the question raised by the topic, Sagara (who owned a
specialty shop) seemed to think the megastores were not a threat to
its existence, and Glen currently sells only at conventions, so
until Barnes & Noble buys a booth in the dealers room, he's not
worried.
(Though the superstores are thought of as run by chains, the
United States's largest bookstore is an independent bookstore, the
Tattered Cover in Denver, which has 42,000 square feet.)
MagiCon September 7, 1992 Page 7
MMMMeeeeeeeetttt tttthhhheeee VVVVIIIIPPPPssss
Thursday, 8:30 PM
Mike Resnick (Master of Ceremonies)
As is often the case with these parties, it was too noisy
actually to meet anyone successfully. The party was supposed to be
held around the pool, which would have let the noise drift up and
away, but was instead moved to the ballroom in the Clarion, where
the noise could bounce off the walls and make the place even louder.
Resnick did his best to read off the names of the VIPs as they were
handed to him, but I suspect most people couldn't hear him and
weren't paying attention. Plus the people being introduced weren't
up there; they were wandering around the room. Resnick is a very
good speaker and this was a real waste of his talent.
(Oh, as the VIPs came in, they were given a plastic lei.
Somehow one of my friends got in without the greeters seeing him,
and was complaining that everyone was getting "lei-ed" but him. So
I dragged him back to the entrance and got him "lei-ed.")
Autographing: CCCCoooonnnnnnnniiiieeee WWWWiiiilllllllliiiissss
Friday, 10 AM
_A_s_i_m_o_v'_s _S_c_i_e_n_c_e _F_i_c_t_i_o_n _M_a_g_a_z_i_n_e had various authors
autographing at their booth as well as the authors doing regular
autograph sessions, so I used this opportunity to get Connie
Willis's autograph. I hadn't brought any books with me to be
autographed (because of the fact we would be traveling around after
the convention), but a friend had offered to bring back stuff in his
van, so I picked up a couple of Willis's books that I didn't have
yet: _L_i_g_h_t _R_a_i_d (which she co-authored with Cynthia Felice) and a
Pulphouse Short Story Paperback, "Daisy, in the Sun." Pulphouse
Short Story Paperbacks are great for just this purpose--they are
small, lightweight, inexpensive, and entirely suitable to ask to
have autographed. I told her about Jerry Pournelle in the Green
Room (see above) and we talked about her story "Even the Queen,"
which I predict will make the Hugo ballot next year (along with her
novel _D_o_o_m_s_d_a_y _B_o_o_k).
Panel: HHHHaaaavvvveeee WWWWeeee EEEEvvvveeeerrrr LLLLiiiisssstttteeeennnneeeedddd???? DDDDooooeeeessss AAAAddddmmmmoooonnnniiiittttoooorrrryyyy SSSSFFFF EEEEvvvveeeerrrr PPPPaaaayyyy OOOOffffffff????
Friday, 11 AM
Roger MacBride Allen (moderator), Michael Kandel,
James Morrow, Richard Paul Russo
Allen (and, yes, it is "Allen" rather than "MacBride Allen")
opened the panel by saying, "Let's talk admonitions." Russo said
that in his writing he isn't so much trying to push a particular
point of view as just to get people to think. Morrow, on the other
hand, said that he does try to affect people's opinions, but doesn't
think he reached enough people with _T_h_i_s _I_s _t_h_e _W_a_y _t_h_e _W_o_r_l_d _E_n_d_s
to take credit for ending the Cold War. "However," he said, "sales
MagiCon September 7, 1992 Page 8
have dropped off, so maybe we need to start another arms race, maybe
with China."
Allen contended that "admonitory s-f has indeed saved the
world, and nobody noticed," in that he believes the Cold War stayed
cold because of all the post-holocaust fiction which was written.
It is certainly true that such works as _O_n _t_h_e _B_e_a_c_h reached a wide
enough audience that there is undoubtedly some truth in what he
says. Kandel observed that the use of parables to get a message
across was not exactly new. As for how closely fiction and reality
match up, Allen observed, "One of the differences between fiction
and life is that fiction makes sense."
The question of whether all this (the end of the Cold War, an
interest in saving the environment, etc.) would have happened
_w_i_t_h_o_u_t admonitory science fiction was touched on, but of course
there is no real way to tell.
At this point Allen asked the audience to list some books that
changed their lives ("Testify!"). Everyone agreed that everything
they read shaped their thoughts somehow, but books listed as
effecting a major change included the Bible (of course), James
Blish's _T_o_r_r_e_n_t _o_f _F_a_c_e_s, Harry Harrison's _M_a_k_e _R_o_o_m! _M_a_k_e _R_o_o_m!,
Robert Heinlein's _P_o_d_k_a_y_n_e _o_f _M_a_r_s, Joseph Heller's _C_a_t_c_h-_2_2, George
Orwell's _A_n_i_m_a_l _F_a_r_m and _1_9_8_4, Ayn Rand's _A_t_l_a_s _S_h_r_u_g_g_e_d, Philip
Wylie's _E_n_d _o_f _t_h_e _D_r_e_a_m, and Dr. Seuss's _L_o_r_a_x.
Morrow cautioned the audience that a lot of these books are
negative (dystopias) and "it's too easy to be a nihilist." That's a
terrible message to send the next generation, he said. A lot of
things enter our folklore from books, and sometimes we aren't even
aware of them. Fans have a folklore that says we are smart and
mundanes are stupid, and believing this can cause a lot of problems.
(At the beginning of the panel, when everyone was introducing
him or herself and talking about his or her latest books, someone on
the panel--I don't think it was Morrow himself--described Morrow's
book _O_n_l_y _B_e_g_o_t_t_e_n _D_a_u_g_h_t_e_r as "the sequel to the New Testament,
completing the trilogy." I guess he wasn't counting the Apocrypha.
Oh, and by the way, in connection with a previous Usenet discussion,
Morrow describes _C_i_t_y _o_f _T_r_u_t_h as a dystopia and a nightmare city,
so to whomever it was who said they thought he was saying in that
book that the unvarnished truth was a positive thing, I offer this
as fairly strong opposing evidence.)
MagiCon September 7, 1992 Page 9
Panel: MMMMeeeeddddiiiiaaaa SSSSFFFF ffffoooorrrr tttthhhheeee LLLLiiiitttteeeerrrraaaarrrryyyy FFFFaaaannnn
Friday, 12 noon
Gail Bennett, Evelyn C. Leeper (moderator), Jim Mann
We started by defining media science fiction to include film,
television, radio, and the theater, and then proceeded to ignore
totally the last two. Oh, well.
We also defined the "literary fan" as someone who is primarily
a reader; a more precise definition than that could not be achieved.
We also agreed that we did not want to have this turn into "media-
fan bashing"--all too often this sort of discussion becomes the
media fans versus the literary fans. One reason that media science
fiction is criticized by "literary fans" is that there is much less
produced in the way of movies and television shows each year than in
books, so when it comes time to list good works of the previous year
(e.g., for the Hugo nominations), it is much easier to come up with
five worthy books than five worthy movies, and any list of
recommended works for a particular year will be book-heavy and
movie-light.
I asked the panel to start with some general statements about
what type of media science fiction the literary fan looks for, since
I knew that soon enough it would devolve to a listing of movies and
television shows. While I suggested that to be appealing to the
literary fan, a piece had to have more than just special effects,
someone pointed out that authors use visual effects also: for
example, Homer's description of Achilles's shield. Still, a film
such as _D_e_a_t_h _B_e_c_o_m_e_s _H_e_r, which has nothing going for it _e_x_c_e_p_t its
visual effects, is unlikely to appeal to a fan looking for more
literary qualities.
Eventually, of course, we ended up with a list of
recommendations, including _B_l_a_d_e_r_u_n_n_e_r, _C_a_r_r_i_e, the HBO version of
_C_a_s_t _a _D_e_a_d_l_y _S_p_e_l_l, the BBC version of _D_a_y _o_f _t_h_e _T_r_i_f_f_i_d_s, _T_h_e
_D_u_n_w_i_c_h _H_o_r_r_o_r, the PBS version of _F_o_o_l'_s _F_i_r_e, the BBC version of
_T_h_e _I_n_v_i_s_i_b_l_e _M_a_n, _K_a_f_k_a, the PBS version of _T_h_e _L_a_t_h_e _o_f _H_e_a_v_e_n,
_N_a_k_e_d _L_u_n_c_h, Peter Greenaway's _P_r_o_s_p_e_r_o'_s _B_o_o_k_s, _S_o_y_l_e_n_t _G_r_e_e_n,
_V_i_l_l_a_g_e _o_f _t_h_e _D_a_m_n_e_d, and various episodes of _D_r. _W_h_o, _T_h_e _O_u_t_e_r
_L_i_m_i_t_s, _R_a_y _B_r_a_d_b_u_r_y _T_h_e_a_t_e_r, _S_t_a_r _T_r_e_k, and _T_w_i_l_i_g_h_t _Z_o_n_e. It
should be noted that most of what was mentioned were adaptations of
written science fiction or fantasy, with the exception of many of
the television shows. Someone suggested that one reason so many
television shows and made-for-television movies showed up on this
list was that television can have a more leisurely pace than films.
I'm not sure I agree with this. If someone pays their $7.50 in a
theater, s/he are likely to stay for the whole film, but on
television, if a show doesn't grab them in the first fifteen minutes
or so, s/he will often just change the channel.
MagiCon September 7, 1992 Page 10
Autographing: PPPPaaaatttt CCCCaaaaddddiiiiggggaaaannnn
Friday, 1:30 PM
The autographing table was in one corner of the exhibit area,
and conveniently located near the dealers room. Again, I hadn't
brought any books with me to be autographed, but I picked up a
couple of her books in the dealers room that I didn't have yet:
_L_e_t_t_e_r_s _f_r_o_m _H_o_m_e and a Pulphouse Short Story Paperback, "My
Brother's Keeper." Cadigan found it a bit odd that I asked her to
inscribe _L_e_t_t_e_r_s _f_r_o_m _H_o_m_e, a book of feminist stories, to both Mark
and myself, but that's how we do things.
Panel: AAAAlllltttteeeerrrrnnnnaaaatttteeee HHHHiiiissssttttoooorrrryyyy SSSSttttoooorrrriiiieeeessss
Friday, 3 PM
George Alec Effinger, Michael F. Flynn, Bruce Sterling,
S. M. Stirling, Harry Turtledove (moderator)
Alternate histories are popular these days--this was a large
room and it was packed. Then again, the title of this panel was so
broad that it probably attracted anyone who had any interest in any
alternate history.
In order to narrow down the topic a bit, the panel addressed in
particular the characteristics of a good alternate history.
H. G. Wells's principle was cited: you're allowed to make _o_n_e
fantastic assumption, and then everything has to follow from that.
(No, I don't have a source to cite for that.) In other words, a
good alternate history should be disciplined extrapolation, with
everything proceeding from the one change. As someone said, there
shouldn't be any "oh, by the way, I forgot to mention ...." (I
think that Turtledove's "sim" stories violate this principle; they
assume that Ramapithecus survived in the Americas and also that the
Asians never crossed the land bridge across the Bering Strait.)
Writers should also keep in mind all the consequences of their
change. Turtledove cited a particularly egregious example in this
regard (he didn't name it, but it was Kirk Mitchell's _P_r_o_c_u_r_a_t_o_r
series in which Rome defeated the Germans _a_n_d Jesus was not
crucified): in spite of the German defeat, Constantine is still born
and becomes emperor. Of course, Mitchell also violated Wells's
principle by having two changes, though when Jesus not being
crucified was mentioned, Effinger and Turtledove both said, "Jesus
who?" reminding us that one man's alternate history change point is
another's reality. (Has anyone ever commented on the peculiarity of
Turtledove, a Jew, writing about an alternate history in which
Mohammed, the founder of Islam, instead becomes a Christian priest?)
It's also important for authors to realize that, as Heinlein
said, "When it's time to railroad, you railroad." In other words,
even those who subscribe to the "Great Man" theory of history need
to accept that some trends or discoveries are inevitable. If James
MagiCon September 7, 1992 Page 11
Watt hadn't perfected the steam engine when he did, someone else
would have very soon after. If Columbus hadn't discovered America
for the Europeans, any one of dozens of explorers sailing around at
the time would have done so soon after. Now it's true that if a
different country got to America first, things would have been
different, but to write a story in which no one gets here misses the
point. On the flip side, you can't have a technological innovation
until the underlying technology is there, so having steam engines in
ancient Rome, before the metallurgy was developed for them, won't
work. (Of course, every rule has an exception: Gregory Benford's
"Manassas, Again" seems to work as a story in spite of doing just
this.)
Along these lines, writers should also avoid having over-long
survival of ancient ideas. (Mitchell's books suffer in this regard
as well; the form of the Roman Empire hasn't changed in 2000 years.
This is highly unlikely, as it was undergoing change even in the era
of Mitchell's change-point.) As Turtledove said later, "People
screw up so that no states are permanently successful."
And a warning that I frequently ignore: don't dump all your
research into the book. Long descriptions of every detail of life
in some time period are more likely to bore than enthrall the
reader. (My review of _A_l_t_e_r_n_a_t_e _K_e_n_n_e_d_y_s is a prime example of
this; I had all the family tree information, so I included it. But
in my defense, at least I stuck it in an appendix.) Connected to
this is the idea that your change-point should not be overly
obscure. If it is, you have to find some way to explain it to the
reader _g_r_a_c_e_f_u_l_l_y--and this is not easy.
The issue of utopian versus dystopian alternate histories was
raised. I think this boils down to whether we are saying things
could be better or things could be worse, and I suppose the relative
percentages would tell us something about our state of mind.
(Anyone out there want to do the research?)
But why write alternate histories at all? Well, for one thing,
they let the author write about our world safely by letting him or
her set it elsewhere. Authors can now write about Germany winning
World War II and having fascism fall fifty years later, and readers
can construct the parallel to our own world.
Mention of the fall of fascism (communism) led Effinger to ask
idly, "Why is all this strange stuff happening?" Stirling and
Turtledove explained that it was because in 1860, Lincoln was
elected and later died in office; in 1880, Lincoln was elected and
later died in office; in 1900, McKinley was elected and later died
in office; in 1920, Harding was elected and later died in office; in
1940, Roosevelt was elected and later died in office; in 1960,
Kennedy was elected and later died in office; but in 1980, Reagan
was elected and shot, but did _n_o_t die in office. Therefore, we are
MagiCon September 7, 1992 Page 12
now in a low probability track. Flynn also mentioned Renfrew's
model which says that power drops off by distance, and therefore
nothing as big as the Soviet bloc could hold together much longer
than it did. Flynn also talked about Edward R. Dewey and Edwin
F. Dakin's _C_y_c_l_e_s: _t_h_e _S_c_i_e_n_c_e _o_f _P_r_e_d_i_c_t_i_o_n, which in 1947
predicted the economic cycles that in fact occurred between 1947 and
now. (By the way, Dewey and Dakin predict the current downturn will
end in 2006; hang in there. The book is still in print, if you're
interested.)
Each talked briefly about his own forays into alternate
history. Stirling mentioned that he had always wanted to write
about slave-driven computers in Rome. (I wonder if he's read Sean
McMullen's "Souls in the Great Machine" in _U_n_i_v_e_r_s_e _2.) Turtledove
said that his "Ready for the Fatherland" rapidly became more topical
than he had expected. He emphasized that Europeans have longer
historical memories than us, and said that the only reason the Serbs
are the villains now is that they have more guns--if the Croats had
more guns, they'd be just as bad.
The panel closed by recommending their favorite alternate
history stories: Kingsley Amis's _T_h_e _A_l_t_e_r_a_t_i_o_n, L. Sprague DeCamp's
_L_e_s_t _D_a_r_k_n_e_s_s _F_a_l_l, Jack Finney's _T_h_e _W_o_o_d_r_o_w _W_i_l_s_o_n _D_i_m_e, Murray
Leinster's "Sideways in Time," Ward Moore's _B_r_i_n_g _t_h_e _J_u_b_i_l_e_e, Keith
Roberts's _P_a_v_a_n_e, and Bob Shaw's _T_h_e _T_w_o-_T_i_m_e_r_s.
(Someone said something about Turtledove's story in which the
Persians defeat the Greeks, and Turtledove said that appealed only
to crackpots. The limited groans from the audience told who had
read the story--"Counting Potsherds"--and got the pun, and who had
not.)
Panel: MMMMyyyy PPPPeeeetttt HHHHaaaatttteeee--------WWWWhhhhaaaatttt RRRReeeeaaaallllllllyyyy BBBBooootttthhhheeeerrrrssss MMMMeeee AAAAbbbboooouuuutttt SSSSoooommmmeeee BBBBooooooookkkkssss
Friday, 4 PM
Lisa Barnett, Algis Budrys, Jim Frenkel (moderator), Nancy Kress
As might be expected from the title, this panel ranged all over
the map, from the minor to the major. First, I'll give the list
that each panelist provided as their "opening statement," then I'll
go on to the discussion that followed.
Barnett hates the use of gay characters as symbolic of
decadence or a decadent society, the implication (or statement) that
fantasy is inferior to science fiction, and the use of internally
inconsistent magical systems. Kress hates science fiction or
fantasy that is too easy and the same old stuff; in particular, she
hates finishing a book and feeling, "I haven't been made to think or
feel .... I haven't been challenged ...." She also hates child
characters who conveniently nap or otherwise disappear when it is
necessary for the plot ("When you wake up on the hillside and become
queen, this is the day your fourteen-year-old daughter will want to
MagiCon September 7, 1992 Page 13
know about contraception"), and intelligent cats (she has two and
claims they are the stupidest animals she has ever seen). Budrys
hates most fantasy because it _i_s too easy, made-up words for things
that already exist on Earth, and stories that start with someone
waking up in white room with no memory (Kress observed she had in
fact written one of these, "Martin, on a Wednesday"), and (in
response to Kress's comments on convenient child characters) any
stories with children ("they're always unreadable"). He also said
that he hates science fiction being considered a genre because it is
a broader field than non-science-fiction since it can talk about
anything. Frenkel hates little furry aliens for cuteness's sake
alone, generic stories ("all bare plotlines sound stupid"), science
and technology that doesn't make sense (i.e., there are no rules, or
the rules are broken), and multiple suns or moons for no reason.
Sexual sins rated high on everyone's list. Kress hates sex
scenes in which the woman reaches a climax after being touched
exactly twice, and stories with Amazon warriors who behave with men
like breasts, never worrying about pregnancy or periods or any of
that stuff. Barnett hates stories in which women were sexless
except in relation to men. Frenkel hates stories (usually by women,
I suspect) in which all men are alike.
Kress said that overexplaining can be a real annoyance and
cited the following from a manuscript she saw: "Grief hung on Dave
like an albatross, which is a large bird from a poem." Frenkel said
an extension of this was the explanatory lump (hundreds of words
explaining how the society's current political system arose--imagine
a novel set in the present which took time to explain the entire
electoral college system as part of talking about an election).
From the audience, Janice Eisen said that a couple of her pet
hates were libertarian science fiction and science fiction that
talks about how wonderful science fiction readers are (she gave
Spider Robinson as an example of the latter). Another audience
member said he hates when an author assumes taste is universal, and
gave as an example an author who wanted to portray a character as
unattractive. But when the author actually described the character,
she turned out to be exactly the type this reader was attracted to!
Another audience member said, "I hate people who expand novellas
into novels," to which Kress responded that was precisely what she
was doing with "Beggars in Spain." I would like to point out,
however, that she is expanding it by writing what happened after the
end of the novella (i.e., the novella forms an initial segment of
the novel), while what people usually object to is the padding out
of the novella story with more description and extra characters to
reach novel length.
General peeves included running lights on spaceships, far
futures in which men still come home from an office to a housewife,
obligatory sex scenes, continuity errors, pointless series (I guess
MagiCon September 7, 1992 Page 14
this is a meta-hate), share-cropping, paperbacks that fall apart in
your hands (I haven't seen this very much since Lancer went out of
business),
A mention of misleading covers led Nancy Kress to tell of her
first collection. For some reason when it arrived, it had a cover
with a very militaristic scene on it: spaceship, guns, etc. The
blurb, however, talked about how Kress wrote "humanistic science
fiction" (and was more accurate than the picture). When Kress asked
her agent about this, the agent claimed that she (the agent) had
seen only a 2"x2" slide of the picture and it looked different.
"How could it have looked different? All it could have looked was
smaller!" But it was too late, and Kress feels that people who
wanted humanistic science fiction were turned off by the cover and
people who wanted militaristic stuff were either turned off by the
blurb or bought it, disliked it, and never bought more of her stuff.
Panelists pointed out that collections usually do not get covers
made to order, but get assigned one from the stock on hand. Budrys
mentioned in this context the myth that collections don't sell, and
pointed to his "Writers of the Future" books, which Kress and others
immediately pointed out were _a_n_t_h_o_l_o_g_i_e_s, not collections.
One of the major things I learned from this panel is that Nancy
Kress is a delight to listen to, and I will certainly try to get to
any panel she's on (and recommend you do so also). I would also
point out that her first novel, _P_r_i_n_c_e _o_f _M_o_r_n_i_n_g _B_e_l_l_s, seems at
first a generic fantasy, but isn't. To paraphrase Kress, it's not
too easy and it's not the same old stuff.
Panel: HHHHuuuuggggoooossss ffffoooorrrr EEEElllleeeeccccttttrrrroooonnnniiiicccc FFFFaaaannnnaaaacccc????
Friday, 5 PM
Richard Gilliam, Saul Jaffe, Evelyn C. Leeper,
Patrick Nielsen Hayden, Brad Templeton (moderator)
Well, this panel in some regards was a rehash of many previous
panels and discussions. We did all agree from the outset, though,
that writing was writing, whether done on paper or on phosphors, and
so writing in electronic media should qualify one as a fan writer as
much as writing on paper. (An amendment to this effect was passed
at the business meeting.) In particular, I observed that I wrote
100,000 words last year, of which only 2,000 appeared in traditional
paper fanzines, and I somehow doubted that my Hugo nomination was
for those 2,000 words alone.
Then there was the usual business of explaining to various
panel members (and the audience) how _S_F-_L_o_v_e_r_s _D_i_g_e_s_t was _n_o_t a
bulletin board--it is composed of articles that are collected by
topic, edited for spelling and grammar, and formatted for output,
whereas a bulletin board is untreated data. Other electronic
fanzines are even more obviously not just "cocktail party chat"--
magazines such as _Q_u_a_n_t_a are complete with artwork and fiction, and
MagiCon September 7, 1992 Page 15
the only difference is that the editors send the subscribers the
page layout electronically in Postscript format, and the subscribers
print their own copies. This was dubbed a "U-Print-It" fanzine.
It was again pointed out that a reader can get access to Usenet
or other electronic media for less than $100, which is less than the
cost of many foreign fanzines which _a_r_e considered generally
available. (I would also report that Nick Simicich volunteered to
print up and mail out _S_F-_L_o_v_e_r_s _D_i_g_e_s_t to anyone who pays for the
printing and postage, thereby making it generally available. We
even recorded this offer on videotape. Now all the committee has to
do is decide what the circulation of it is!)
I noted out that if some electronic fanzine was not generally
available, then it wouldn't get nominated. If an electronic fanzine
got enough votes to get nominated, then it was certainly as
available as the paper fanzines that got nominated as well. I have
always found it amusing that the two arguments given against
allowing electronic fanzines to be eligible are 1) they aren't
generally available, and 2) they would get so many nominations they
would squeeze out the paper fanzines. Excuse me?
Nielsen Hayden said that changing the WSFS Constitution was
hard, because there was a lot of inertia built in, but on the whole
this was probably a good thing.
I suggested the somewhat radical (though not original with me)
idea that fan Hugos weren't quite "real" Hugos anyway, and maybe
should be broken off, at which point the number of categories could
be expanded. (No one really wants to increase the number of Hugos
and lengthen the ceremony to longer than it is now. On the other
hand, I said that eventually all of First Fandom will be dead--as
will we all eventually--and so the Hugo Awards ceremony will be
shorter by the amount of time those awards take now.) I can't help
but feel that my Hugo nomination is not as important as one of the
professional fiction category nominations, and wonder how those
authors feel about having people like me having the same status as
they (in some sense).
I also noted that the current attitude on the part of many fans
against electronic fanzines would also rule out allowing fanzines on
audio tape ("Fred's Fanzine for the Blind"), although Nielsen Hayden
thought that any such entry would be immediately ruled eligible by
the committee.
In short, progress seems to be being made. I think Nielsen
Hayden started out by being somewhat opposed to Hugos for electronic
fanzines but changed his mind when Saul and I explained what exactly
we meant by electronic fanzines. This seems to be the major
misunderstanding and perhaps I should start carrying around a copy
of _Q_u_a_n_t_a as an example for these discussions.
MagiCon September 7, 1992 Page 16
Dinner
Normally, dinner doesn't rate a paragraph in a con report, but
this was unusual. There were nine of us who got together and
decided to try the Ming Court, since it was 1) near and 2)
recommended. As we started to leave the hotel room, I suggested
that calling ahead to see how long the wait would be might be a good
idea. Good thing we did. It was now 6:15 PM and they said they
could seat us about 8:30 PM. Oh, well, thanks, but I don't think
so. Well, they countered, when did you want to eat? Right now, I
said, about 6:45 PM (allowing for walking time). "Let me check."
After about a minute, she returned. We can seat you now, but only
if you promise to be out by 8 PM, because we've promised that table
for 8 PM. No problem! So we rushed off, arrived there, and were
seated in a private banquet room at one of the tables. They
obviously had a large party coming in at 8 PM, and the maitre d'
reiterated that we _m_u_s_t be out by 8 PM. We assured him that if he
served us fast, we'd eat fast. So we had three waiters just for us,
and in fact ordered and ate so quickly that we were done with the
main course by 7:15 PM and had more time for dessert than we had
taken for dinner. We were out by 7:40 PM, leaving them plenty of
time to clear our table and re-set it. Strange, but definitely
efficient!
(End of Part 1)