@@@@@ @ @ @@@@@ @ @ @@@@@@@ @ @ @@@@@ @@@@@ @@@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @@@@@ @@@@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @@@@@ @ @ @ @ @@@@@ @@@@@ @@@Mt. Holz Science Fiction Society

Club Notice - 09/05/97 -- Vol. 16, No. 10

## Table of Contents

MT Chair/Librarian: Mark Leeper MT 3E-433 732-957-5619 mleeper@lucent.com HO Chair: John Jetzt MT 2E-530 732-957-5087 jetzt@lucent.com HO Librarian: Nick Sauer HO 4F-427 732-949-7076 njs@lucent.com Distinguished Heinlein Apologist: Rob Mitchell MT 2D-536 732-957-6330 rlmitchell1@lucent.com Factotum: Evelyn Leeper MT 3E-433 732-957-2070 eleeper@lucent.com Back issues at http://www.geocities.com/~ecl. All material copyright by author unless otherwise noted.

http://www.io.com/~lsc2/. LoneStarCon 2 Internet Information Center. which by now should have the Hugo award details posted. [-ecl]

Okay, I am going to let the readers of this notice in on a little secret. But you've got to promise not to let is get outside this small circle of friends. I will let you take advantage of this opportunity because you are loyal readers of this notice and I feel obliged to do something good for you.

Look, take a given stock S. It closes for a price P(I) on the I-th day of its offering. Now you express P(I) in octal and leave off the octal point. So if a stock is selling for 64 1/8 you get 201. Load that number with enough high-order zeroes so it comes to six digits. Now the stock price is 000201. Now start with an octal point, then after it put the price on the first day of its offering, the next put the price the second day of its offering, etc. So if the first day it closed at 64 1/8, the next at 64 3/8 you would get a number .000201000203... If you go out far enough you get a number N(S) that correctly predicts the stock's closing price every day of its existence. Now here's the beauty part: every stock on the market has one of these numbers. And if you know N(S) you can make a fortune off of that stock. You know everything that stock is going to do.

I am pretty sure I can prove that N(S) is always a number between 0 and 1, probably one very near zero. Not only that, it is a rational number. The best mathematicians know that the vast majority of numbers in that range are irrational, but in one fell swoop I have ruled the irrationals all out. The number is near zero but it is not exactly zero, and that is the really exciting part. Today I can compute N(S) for Lucent Technologies and while I do not have the exact value yet, my approximations are converging extremely rapidly. You would be amazed at how close I know the value of N(S) for Lucent. Eventually I am sure it will be possible to get the exact value.

So, you may ask, why am I telling this to you? Unfortunately, I am also running out of money to do this work. I am getting a little desperate and I would be willing to sell a 10% interest in the process for a measly hundred thou or so. But don't spread it around too much. Tell only people you can trust. [-mrl]

Mark Leeper MT 3E-433 732-957-5619 mleeper@lucent.com

I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time. -- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche